urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose bleedrose bleedrose 2005-01-17T10:17:43Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:1755 2005-01-17T10:17:43Z 2005-01-17T10:17:43Z none today is the aniversary of my friends jamie's death its hard day for a few of us so wont really be doing anything s this is a short entry <br /><br />love x urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:1527 2005-01-16T22:41:15Z 2005-01-16T22:41:15Z none hey thanx to colette and neil for doing the quiz, so u wud kiss me eh colette? lol anytime doll lol anyway lastnight i was out wuth my mum sis and colette to bingo and it had an elvis singer on after it omg he was soooo funny took the piss even made rude jokes which me and colette peed ourselfs at and my mum thought some were funny to, it was a good night mum just let her hair doen wich was good she does so much for my dad and gran and most of the time they dont respect that,<br />anyway it was joyce birthday today didint do anything she was working but lastnight was for her birthday to the guy was really nice looking lol and robert the caler kept laughing at me and colette he always does lol must be the way we look anyway not much else to say except its been a good weekend for once<br /><br />love to all xx urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:1090 2005-01-14T19:50:39Z 2005-01-14T20:08:32Z greenday hey sorry its been a few days just really havent had anything to say, i have been lazing about i went back to the doctor and im going back to work next monday im so not ready i have been presured into it by my family and my boss, i was starting to feel abit better in myself but i know im gonna end up worst going back when im not ready<br /><br />i was in glasgow today with colette she was getting a new mobile she got the same as me but in white its kooooool was a fun day <br /><br />i have been talking to this guy from london who says he loves me but i dont know wat to think i love michael to much and would never do anything he says he is coming up on monday we will see wat happens<br /><br />anyway not much else to say see ya x<br /><br />i know u will read this colette love ya doll!!!!!!! lols<br /><br /><br />What if ....<br />» I committed suicide:<br />» I said I liked you:<br />» I kissed you:<br />» I lived next door to you:<br />» I started smoking:<br />» I stole something:<br />» I was hospitalized:<br />» I ran away from home:<br />» I got into a fight and you weren't there:<br /><br />WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:<br /><br />» Personality:<br />» Eyes:<br />» Face:<br />» Hair:<br />» Clothes:<br />» Mannerisms:<br />» Family:<br /><br /><br />[1] Who are you?<br />[2] Are we friends?<br />[3] When and how did we meet?<br />[4] How have I affected you?<br />[5] What do you think of me?<br />[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?<br />[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?<br />[8] Do you love me?<br />[9] Have I ever hurt you?<br />[10] Would you hug me?<br />[11] Would you kiss me?<br />[12] Would you adore me?<br />[13] Are we close?<br />[14] Emotionally, what stands out?<br />[15] Do you wish I was cooler?<br />[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?<br />[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.<br />[18] Am I loveable?<br />[19] How long have you known me?<br />[20] Describe me in one word.<br />[21] What was your first impression?<br />[22] Do you still think that way about me now?<br />[23] What do you think my weakness is?<br />[24] Do you think I'll get married?<br />[25] What about me makes you happy?<br />[26] What about me makes you sad?<br />[27] What reminds you of me?<br />[28] What's something you would change about me?<br />[29] How well do you know me?<br />[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?<br />[31] Do you think I would kill someone?<br />[32] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:838 2005-01-07T10:55:34Z 2005-01-07T10:55:34Z nightwish wel michael is here and its amazing i love him so much, anyway i feel usless one of my best friends are hurting and i cant help them they helped me through alot and now i cant return the favour but to be honest i dont think they want me to but i feel its part of my duties if u get wat i mean!!!!!!<br /><br />anyway colette got me to sign up on this web site thing a bit like faceoarty but its face-pic and the amount of guys that are mailing me and adding me to messenger most of them from ther other side of the world but they all keep saying im sweet and cute and sexy when i knoe fine well im not i dont even see why they wud want to talk to me im nothing but a waste of time and space i dont even see wat michael sees in me but i have learned that he loves me and nothing i think will ever change that, im just a very negative person and i dont know how anyone puts up with it, i try to change but its hard but hopefully the counciling sessions will help with that<br /><br />im afraid of going back to work i saw my boss the other day and she didnt even say "phyllis how you feeling" it was "hope ur coming to see me soon" i was like if the doctor says i can i want to quit so badly but i cant cause if i did that i couldnt sign on at all and i cant live with out money no one can<br /><br />anyway im gonna go urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:766 2005-01-05T10:10:43Z 2005-01-05T10:10:43Z none hey wat a night first of all my cat was sick on my bed then when i just dose over steve called i didnt want to answer but i guess i felt i had to steve being a very bad ex by the way, anyway i answered and we spoke with out fighting for an hour talking about the pass etc things started to feel weird for me when he turned round and said he still loved me after everything he has done to me how can he say that, he also asked me to meet him at leaste then if we meet on "good" terms he can find out if he does or not i will tell him now YOU DONT LEAVE ME ALONE but for some reason im interested in meeting him so i can tell him wat a dick he is and try make him never want to talk to me again, i know my friends would say im nuts for even talking to him but wat else cud i do!!!!!!<br /><br />anyway once i got off the phone to him i tried to sleep but wasnt happening the thought of having an other nightmare makes me come into a cold sweat i cant bring myself round to even closing my eyes its such a pain all i want to do is hurt myself in some way to forget my pain in my head and heart but i cant cause of a promise i made to a very special person to me!!!<br /><br />god listen to me rambling on, im seeing michael today which im really excited about i think we will be fine yay we just need another few times together then i think we might be back to normal.<br /><br />anyway i best be off x urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:bleedrose:408 2005-01-04T11:06:46Z 2005-01-04T11:06:46Z The reason i dont know wat to think at the moment i have fallen for a guy a cant have and he keeps being so nice to me and im afraid that i show my feelings to much and he falls out with me its silly really cause he is such a nice guy and i dont want to lose his friendship i mean i know nothing will ever happen cause he loves someone else plus come on its me, even though i have fallen for him i still am so much in love with michael can u really be like this?<br /><br />anyway i get to see michael tomorrow yay im really looking forward to it i hope he is realy nice to me i need it right now i hate jauary to much happens<br /><br />anyway i must go and build my wall around my darkend soul to let no one in to hurt me